Boris Johnson has apparently joined the Green party, suspicious sources said today. He said he was intrigued by Green MP Caroline Lucas’s idea to ask 10 female politicians from all parties to join her in forming an “emergency cabinet”.
“I bet I’d stand a chance with at least one of those” Mr Johnson is reported to have said.
“And I know how to prune a tree” Boris was said to have continued. “Oh and Mr Trump would be great turning Notre Dame in Paris into a hotel. I bet he could do it in under a year.”
Sources that have disbelieved this report and contend that Boris Johnson is still the UK Prime Minister, at least for this week, must surely be mistaken.
The next UK Prime Minister has been announced as Boris Johnson, provided that the Queen gives her assent tomorrow.
This is not a joke although perhaps it should be, like when I thought Mr Johnson would be in favour of turning Notre Dame into a hotel and the roof into a swimming pool. This is a joke. At least I think it is…
The police were called to the flat where Boris Johnson is now living with his current girlfriend of just over a year, Carrie Symonds, after concern from their neighbours about a ‘heated dispute’ on Friday.
In a public hustings for the UK Prime Minister position on Saturday, Johnson had nothing to say. He also had nothing to say about his relationship with right-winger Steve Bannon, although to be fair he wasn’t asked about that.
Donald Trump has stopped short of escalating the worsening stand-off with Iran in the Persian Gulf, suggesting that the shooting down of a US drone could have been carried out by a “loose and stupid” Iranian officer without authorisation from Tehran. He was apparently ‘worried’ that up to 150 Iranians could be killed in the planned retaliation.
Claims that he was heard to say “can’t we get more of them?” in the briefing room are unverified.
In other news, Trump is still in the market to turn Notre Dame into a hotel. His most recent comment appears to be “I really like the roof as a swimming pool.”
Jeremy Hunt yesterday confirmed his bid to be the next UK Prime Minister despite not being able to ring a bell.
Sources close to Jeremy Hunt have dismissed the bell clanger as “simply a mistake” and added that he was perfectly able to hide behind a tree even if the tree wasn’t suitable for the new roof of Notre Dame.