Category: Joke

Boris Johnson has apparently joined the Green party, suspicious sources said today. He said he was intrigued by Green MP Caroline Lucas’s idea to ask 10 female politicians from all parties to join her in forming an “emergency cabinet”.

“I bet I’d stand a chance with at least one of those” Mr Johnson is reported to have said.

“And I know how to prune a tree” Boris was said to have continued. “Oh and Mr Trump would be great turning Notre Dame in Paris into a hotel. I bet he could do it in under a year.”

Sources that have disbelieved this report and contend that Boris Johnson is still the UK Prime Minister, at least for this week, must surely be mistaken.

It’s over 26 years now since the tub of lard replaced Roy Hattersley on a BBC quiz show.

But tonight, on a Channel 4 show where the candidates for the UK Prime Minster attempt to answer questions from the public, Boris Johnson’s position will be represented by an empty podium.

A tub of lard might be better. No tub of lard was involved in the fire at Notre Dame in April as far as we know.

Certain sources close to Boris Johnson believe than the man likes to hang from a wire in the bedroom.

“Apparently when he got stuck on a zip wire in 2011 he discovered that he liked it and the rest, as they say, is history” said a source who didn’t want to be named.

In other news Johnson is believed to be in favour of Trump buying Notre Dame and turning it into a hotel.

Donald Trump meets Macron and Johnson

Jeremy Hunt yesterday confirmed his bid to be the next UK Prime Minister despite not being able to ring a bell.

Sources close to Jeremy Hunt have dismissed the bell clanger as “simply a mistake” and added that he was perfectly able to hide behind a tree even if the tree wasn’t suitable for the new roof of Notre Dame.